Friday, February 15, 2013

NBA Power Rankings: Game of Thrones Edition

            With the NFL Draft still a couple of months away, and spring training just getting underway, I thought it might be a good time to take stock in the NBA season.  At this point, we can see who is in position to contend, who might need one more piece, and who is hoping that Nerlens Noel has a speedy recovery/slips to them in the lottery.  Instead of just giving the odds that each team has of winning the title, I thought I might throw in a Game of Thrones theme (ONLY 44 DAYS!!).  Each team will be likened to a group in the show based on their power/chances of contending along with their odds of winning the title. 

House Lannister- Where the Power resides.
Miami Heat, 36-14
This is the most spot-on comparison.  You have the team with the most power, the champions, who last year had to take it after being so close, just as Joffrey took the crown after being prince.  They have the undisputed best player/knight in LeBron James and Jaime Lannister.  Dwayne Wade is a little bitch who uses others talents (LeBron, Shaq, Pat Riley) just as Joffrey uses Jaime, The Hound, and Tyrion.  You can even see Chris Bosh moping around just like Cersei.  Ray Allen is the hired sword just like my favorite character Bronn.  After the battle of Blackwater, it looks like the Lannisters will stay in power for the time being just like I doubt anyone will unseat the champs.
+150
House Stark- Teams just on the brink.
Oklahoma City Thunder, 39-14
Just like the Starks losing Ned, the Thunder lost one of their key contributors in James Harden.  However, just as Robb is leading the Starks and the North to the brink of the power, Kevin Durant has the Thunder firmly in the driver’s seat as the team most likely to dethrone the champs.  I think the Harden loss has hurt more than anyone is talking about.  Kevin Martin is a completely different player and is just not assertive enough to take it to the rack when Durant/Westbrook needs a break.  With all of that said, last night’s dominance by the Heat shows just how far of a gap there is between Miami and everyone else.
+400
Los Angeles Clippers, 39-17
While the new kings of Los Angeles may not have the intricate comparisons to the Starks, their seat in line to power is just as close.  The Clippers have been showing an outrageously potent offense that goes 10 or 11 deep in their rotation.  Chris Paul is acting as maestro and Blake Griffin continues to progress as an all-around player.  Should LA make a move to ship Bledsoe out for a defensive minded center, this team could move right past the Thunder.
+650
Indiana Pacers, 32-21
Now I know if you have been reading my blog for a while you know I was all-in on the Pacers last post-season.  Some might say I was wrong in the fact that they were eliminated in the second round.  However, need I remind you that they were up 2-1 on the Heat and had LeBron not played one of the best fourth quarters in basketball history, Indiana would have had a commanding 3-1 series lead and a good matchup against Boston to get to The Finals.  Roy Hibbert has had a downswing just as Brandon Stark, but with the emergence of Paul George as the alpha-wolf (you see what I did there?) like Rob Stark, Indiana has the best chance of anyone in the East to outduel Miami.
+700
Memphis Grizzlies, 33-18
Of all the teams in this category, Marc Gasol and Zach Randolph look the part.  Gasol could be straight out of Winterfell with that beard and I swear Randolph is the long-lost twin brother of Xaro of Qarth.  If Winterfell fielded a basketball team, I bet they would even play the same style as the Grizz: ground and pound down low with hectic and frantic defense.  With the Lakers out of the playoffs as of now, what other team can really contend in the West with the two bigs that Memphis puts out there?  The Rudy Gay trade drops them some, but honestly they could just as easily make a run without him.
+975
San Antonio Spurs, 42-12
While San Antonio and Winterfell have nothing in common outside of the terrible smell, the history of the Starks and Spurs are actually quite comparable.  The Starks have always been close to power and, in some instances, briefly held it.  This is just like the Spurs as they briefly take power, but can never win back-to-back titles.  However, like the Starks, they are ALWAYS there, close to the power.  Do I think that Duncan/Parker/Ginobili can make one more run at the title?  No, just as I do not think Robb Stark can take the crown without some help. 
+1000
House Baratheon- Stannis feels like he should have all the power, just like a few of these teams
Denver Nuggets, 33-21
I know, off the bat the Nuggets do not seem to fit in this category.  However, do you realize that the third longest active playoff streak is held by Denver?  Do you also realize that the top two streaks (held by Dallas and San Antonio) contain 39 series victories while Denver has just two?  The Nuggets are always there, but cannot quite grasp it, just like Stannis (I’m not using Robert/Renly in these comparisons, because they have since left the show).  Could the Nuggets make a surprising run with their fast pace and athleticism?  Possibly, since they are one of the few teams that can run with Miami.  Will this actually happen?  Stannis has a better chance of controlling his LOST smoke monster.
+1800
New York Knicks, 32-18
This comparison fits more than the previous as we are always inundated with the hope that the Knicks will be good because “Madison Square Garden is the best place for basketball.”  I have never been there, but I would much rather go to a newer, nicer, more high-tech arena.  Anyway, Melo acts as a good Stannis as someone who thinks they belong on top when really they do not belong in the same conversation as LeBron (Jaime Lannister).  They even have Tyson Chandler who acts as the Melisandre with mysterious powers that people think will help get the power/championship.
+1825
Brooklyn Nets, 31-22
Similar to the Knicks, the East-coast media bias gets you thinking that the Nets SHOULD be really good and in power.  However, what you have is the over-rated Joe Johnson/Gerald Wallce (Davos Seaworth and his son) and a disgruntled leader who, in retrospect, wishes he was playing/fighting back home Deron Williams (Stannis).  Brook Lopez acts as the LOST Smoke Monster as a wild card that no one really knows what they are going to get.  The odds of a team from here on out making a serious run start to take a hit.
+1900
Utah Jazz, 30-24
Only four times in the past 29 seasons have the Jazz not made the playoffs, and had Michael Jordan not come out of retirement, they would have two titles to show for it.  Ya know, just like if Cersei heeded the wishes of the dead king then Stannis would have all of the power.  The Jazz are lop-sided to the front court with not much to write home about in the back court.  Should they make a move and bring in a slasher for one of their plethora of power forwards, this team might have a shot at winning the West.  As it stands now, they will be on the outside by the second round.
+2000
House Targaryen: The team that had always held the power but is now in the realm of the unknown
Los Angeles Lakers, 25-29
By far the hardest team to rank and predict, the Lakers coincide perfectly with House Targaryen.  The all-time power within the league, the Lakers have always had their dragons in the form of Wilt, Kareem, Magic, Worthy, Shaq and Kobe.  They have recently hatched their new dragon, Dwight Howard, but is he ready yet to take the reins of power?  They are in the precarious spot of being out of the playoffs as of today, but you cannot put their odds too high because they very likely can reach The Finals should they get in.  This is comparable to Daenerys in that as it stands, she is not in the battle for power.  However, I would not be surprised at all if she is the only one left standing at the end looking over a charred landscape.
+2025
The Night’s Watch: These teams have no shot at power now, change is needed.
Houston Rockets, 29-26
The Rockets made one big move to bring in James Harden, but Jeremy Lin has been less than spectacular.  They have kept their powder dry in hopes that they can lure Dwight Howard, but that seems unlikely.  Just like Maester Aemon, they once held the power but are now left hoping for a new generation to take over.
+2600
Golden State Warriors, 30-22
With the gunning backcourt of Klay Thompson and Steph Curry, the Warriors can score with anyone, yet Marc Jackson has instilled a defensive mindset that has turned them into a complete team.  Should Harrison Barnes find his true potential like Jon Snow, then this team can turn into quite a formidable foe (my theory on Jon Snow is that he is the child of Lyanna Stark and Rhaegar Targaryen, who therefore would have a right to the throne).
+4000
Atlanta Hawks, 29-22
The Hawks are another team hoping for a big splash this summer, as no one on their roster has escaped trade rumors.  However, when they are focused and Josh Smith is either not taking or hitting his ridiculous long jumpers, they are a tough matchup for anyone.  I liken Smith to Samwell Tarley in that there are some things he can do well, if only he can stick to them.
+4400
Chicago Bulls, 30-22
Philadelphia 76ers, 22-29
Boston Celtics, 28-24
These three teams are all similar in that their best player has been or will be watching from the sidelines, just like Benjen Stark has gone missing from The Wall.  Each will need a young, inexperienced player step up if they are going to make some noise (Marquis Teague, Evan Turner/Jrue Holiday, and Avery Bradley respectively as Jon Snow).  Only this, along with their star coming back (sorry Celtics) can these teams make a run.
+4800
Dallas Mavericks, 23-29
Portland Trail Blazers, 25-28
Both of these teams are stuck in the middle of mediocrity which is the worst place to be.  The Night’s Watch is stuck in the middle of the North with the Wildlings mobilizing and the White Walkers walking on one side, and the battle for the crown on the other.  Neither place is where you want to be.  The Mavericks at least have some space and a couple of pieces that they could make a move for a big name.  The Trail Blazers (outside of playing Dallas) are probably better off with lottery balls.  Either way, as it stands now, they are on equal footing.
+5000
House Tyrell: young, showing plenty of promise, but not ready to make a run at power alone
Minnesota Timberwolves, 19-31
The T-Wolves are still not fully healthy, but in the Entertaining As Hell tournament that Bill Simmons has proposed, I think I would bet on a healthy Minnesota to win it.  They have a good future with Rubio/Love/Williams and might be able to make some noise next season (barring another injury).  This is just like Loras Tyrell who has had to join the Lannisters because he is not ready to rule on his own.  However, his sister is making the moves needed to be the next in line for power.
+7500
Toronto Raptors, 21-32
The Raptors are quite an intriguing team to me now, with the addition of Rudy Gay.  They might epitomize the Tyrells even more in the fact that they have the potential, albeit unproven, to take over.  With Kyle Lowry, Terrence Ross, Rudy Gay, Amir Johnson, Andrea Bargnani with Quincy Acy, DeMar DeRozan, Landry Fields, and Mickael Pietrus off the bench they have a solid nine-man rotation with almost everyone under 27.  They are too young for this season, but a defensive center away from making noise next year.
+9000
New Orleans Hornets, 19-34
Sacramento Kings, 19-35
Cleveland Cavaliers, 16-37
These three teams have young stars Davis, Cousins and Irving to build around, but need another lottery pick and a few veteran pickups before they can be considered contenders.  This can be likened to the Tyrell House in that they need a few new bannerman before making a run at the crown on their own.
+10000
House Arryn: Staying steady with no real prospectus
Milwaukee Bucks, 26-25
Phoenix Suns, 17-36
If Jennings leaves the Bucks, then both of these teams will be left with neither a star nor a good core to build around.  They might as well be little Robin Arryn still suckling on his mother because they are a long way away from any sort of power.
+15000
House Greyjoy: In need of a complete overhaul if they want a chance at power
Detroit Pistons, 21-33
Washington Wizards, 15-36
Orlando Magic, 15-37
Charlotte Bobcats, 12-40
I am not sold on Greg Monroe (although Andre Drummond might be coming around if he can stay healthy), John Wall, Aaron Afflalo or anyone spare the Bobcats throw out.  These teams have even less than the previous two just as the Greyjoys have been diminished to the Iron Islands’ prison with no one even worrying about them.  They might sneak up and beat a Stark for a night, but in the long haul the Greyjoy will always fail.  I just cannot see any of these teams nor the Greyjoys competing any time in the near future.
+100000

No comments:

Post a Comment